Who Knows You? (The Power of “Connecting”)
By Alex Mandossian on May 15, 2008
When you want to tap into the power of “connecting” with your friends or business colleagues, remember it’s not who you know … it’s WHO KNOWS YOU that counts most.
Consider the implications of ”Metcalfe’s Law“. I won’t go into the formula (you can read about it at Wikipedia), but I will tell you it all started with telephone networks. Then it went into fax networks. Then to operating systems. And then the Internet.
Today, all the hype is about ”social networking” sites, right?
Side Note: In 1843, a Scottish mechanic named Alexander Bain, invented the fax machine (25 years before Alexander Graham Bell’s telephone). But because there was no “fax network,” it would take another 140 years (1980s) for the fax machine to have significant relevance as a communications or “connecting” tool.
The same is true for you whenever you meet people offline or visit websites online.
Robert Metcalfe said that “the value of a network is proportional to the square of the number of users of the system.” Okay, so what does that mean?
He was relating to the Ethernet, which he invented. In more of a layperson’s terms: The more links or “connections” a network has, the better and more powerful the network becomes.
Makes sense, right?
When you put up a website or blog on the Internet, the more incoming links you have (WHO KNOWS YOU), the more Google loves you. The more “connected” you are to other sites (WHO YOU KNOW) the more relevant you are on the Net.
But it’s not just links or “connections” that matter most. What matters most is the type of links or “connections” you have.
Think about it: If former President Clinton’s assistant at the Clinton Foundation knows me (which he does) and then calls me to discuss a fundraiser (which he did), that’s a good connection for me. Right?
But if Bill Clinton calls me to discuss the same fundraiser, that’s a great connection! Wouldn’t you agree?
Combining “Quantity” with “Quality”
Famous American computer scientist, David Reed said that Robert Metcalfe was only half right.
Reed’s Law suggests that Metcalfe’s Law understates the value of adding connections because not only are these connections powerful in and of themselves, but the sub-connections within each connection are just as powerful.
So what’s my point with this discussion on “connecting?”
My point is simply this: If you spend time trying to “connect” with other people, other website owners, bloggers or entrepreneurs, make sure they’re the type of “connections” that will serve you. As you probably realize by now, not all connections are created equal.
As for me, I’ve often discovered that the quality of my life is the quality of my “connections.” I spend over 80% of my time with less than five best-friends … and one of them is my wife, Aimee :-)
So on a professional level, the next time you’re at a seminar, a gathering or event, I encourage you to intentionally seek out only those who can provide mutual benefits. Think “quantity” … but be clear-minded about “quality” too.
Your success as an Entrepreneurial CEO is significantly determined by the quantity of quality people who you know AND who know you.
Quality connections are the mainstay of life. Without them you cannot advance in any way.
In real life getting quality connections are often hard to get. On the virtual Internet it is a lot easier.
The interesting point about virtual connections is fact that they often help you in you real life.
Michael
Hey Alex,
The value of connections in my own success can’t even be measured. I love the idea of checking the kinds of connections coming into my blog (I’ll have to research that one.)
I agree it’s who knows you that counts…I think some other things that help are:
* Speaking on stage with well-recognized experts (speaking at Adam U’s event with you certainly helped me)
* Getting on multiple high quality teleclasses & virtual ’stages’ so your name is seen often
* Being endorsed by someone highly respected. I’ve been fortunate enough to have my programs touted by legends like Mark Victor Hansen and Alexandria Brown…seems to open up the flood gates!
Happy connecting everyone!
Melanie Benson Strick
Million Dollar Lifestyle Business Coach
& Virtual Team Building Expert
http://www.successconnections.com
Alex,
This Social Media is like a “Virus”
But a good virus. Because if you are a good person (and you are) and you have a good message (which you do) you eradicate Bad Darkness. By lighting someone’s candle bring more light; it takes nothing away from us.
Physically “Darkness” does not exist. It only becomes where there is lack of light.
Keep lighting all of us
Racheli Smilovits 954-567-7300
info@loans-4-u.com
http://www.loans-4-u.com
Bio http://www.MeetRacheli.com
http://www.yourmortgagecafe.com
We will be honored to serve one of your referrals Today?
Thank you for this great inspirational article.
Imagine all the connections and resulting relationships required to be great at just about anything, unless you are already the expert…
Clay Franklin
Sure, quality beats quantity, BUT, when you meet someone at an event, or in a elevator, or somewhere else, you do not know what he or she will become. It’s hard in just a few minutes (or less!) to gauge someone’s potential. All mavens started as lesser players.
Quality contacts can often be valuable sooner, but others may and likely will grow in value over time.
Alex has taught me to make a list of who I want to meet (and why) at an event. It may be a specific person or a person who does something I need in my business. The list is non-negotiable. I WILL meet those people one way or another, without question.
It is also very important to know what I have to offer them since my goal, in the first place, is to give before I get; another Alex-ism that works like a charm.
Since I’ve been doing this, I’ve made the most important connections of career!
I appreciate you, Alex.
Kelly Rudolph
Alex,
Great post on many different fronts.
To agree with one of your points about the definition of Metcalfe Law, one reason why tele-seminars are so powerful for entrepreneurs is everyone has a phone and has accepted this is a more intimate way to know, like, and trust someone than say email.
On the point of “not all network connections are created equal,” I would add that it is tough to pre-determine which network connection may serve you.
An interesting note, I particpated in the Microsoft Small Business Live Summit at Microsoft campus last week for the Vision to Venture women entrepreneur summit.
One of the most agreed-upon differences between men and women entrepreneurs, based on opinion of over 450 women, was that men network with more direct purpose (business) than women (relationships). There is good and bad to be found in this one particular meeting admission.
Thanks for igniting a conversation.
Matthew Scott
men@pause coach
Hello Alex,
Your message is on point as always. It is absolutely vital to have great connections, and it is also critical to offer something of real value to those connections. That is the secret of what you do.
Your words still echo in my mind…”I want more for you than you even want for yourself.” That is why you have the amazing ability to draw successful and high-powered people to you.
Your name is in the dictionary under “magnetism.”
Best wishes,
Gail Doby
http://www.interiordesignsuccessblog.com
Alex,
You are absolutely correct in looking for quality contacts. This follows Pareto’s Principle or the 80/20 rule: 80 percent of your business will come from 20 percent of your clients.
Everyone, especially on the social networking sites, is interested in quantity. Before adding people to my network, I ask myself, “Is what this person represents (whether it is their business model, belief system, or ethics) congruent with my brand or message?” I have had people ask me why I won’t add them as a “friend”. It is nothing personal; but in a public forum I need my message to be consistent. It is not a matter of being elitist or a social climber: It is business.
Thanks for bringing this to people’s attention.
Barbara
http://www.dontmakemeslapyou.com
I learnt this the hard way Alex but I couldn’t agree more. Good intentional connections are not always the best ones no matter how sweet the pot looks. I’ve learnt even to let these go if it means giving me giving more than I’m getting back when taking into consideration the longer term.
This is one of the reasons I do not reciprocal link with just anybody any more - but there is also a search engine reason for not doing so as well - way beyond the scope of this discussion. :-)
Trish Jones
HI Alex
That’s a great point.
I have noticed however with you that you take time for everyone. At a past Big Seminar in fact, you spent almost 90 minutes with myself and two others. And this was after three or more grueling days running the event!
So while I agree that you should seek out quality, I would also suggest that everyone be open to allowing quality to find them.
I was on a cruise with a bunch on Internet Marketers last January. Someone from th egroup that I never met before came up to me and asked if we could chat about podcasting, since I have a bit of a rep in that area.
I could have brushed him off. Don’t know him. On vacation… blah blah.
We had a great breakfast together AND he makes $1,000,000 a month online in his niche.
Am I glad we connected? You bet!
So you never know who you are speaking with.
And I know lots of people who would have stuck to their group and not reached out or allowed other to ‘reach in’.
And that’s what I appreciate about you. You always make me feel important and heard.
Thanks, Alex! Talk with you soon
Scott
Alex - this is a great explanation! I consider myself a very good “networker” and what u say will give your readers the results they seek. Citing the Pareto rule . . . in this case, 20% of the people one knows, will create 80% of the results one seeks.
This has been bugging me since I got involved in social networking. The type of connections I have are all over the map. There seems to be two philosophies on this. 1. Take every connection request that comes your way and 2. Be selective.
Using Social Networking as a marketing vehicle has been relatively successful for me. My last Teleseminar I had 10 registrations ($495 each) just from myspace.
How does your “Quality” with “Quantity” fit into a marketing model?
Alex,
I am in complete agreement with you on this.
I would only add, with respect to your statement, “seek out only those who can provide mutual benefit to you”, to make sure to not decline connections of those who seek us out, even when the benefit to us is not readily apparent.
We can never be sure what the future value of a connection may develop into.
Cheers,
Mark.
I love your focus Alex, and I wish we all had the high quality connections. Experience has also shown you never know where referrals may take you to and where they may come from. That said, many small business owners are unfocused and perhaps uncomfortable with the stretch of connecting with the most influential person in the room. Perhaps part of the equation is you will never be fully engaged in where you are or where you’re going by settling for normal. You said yourself put up a post it note on your computer that asks “what don’t I see?” Your blog post is part of the answer, I think the other part is our unconscious fears, that we just need to work on. To prosperous & inspiring day. Tricia
Humans frequently appear to be anything but social creatures.
When you think back to your grade school dances and the girls huddled along one wall and the boys on another…usually, across the room. It was an invisible wall of “fear of rejection” that served as a barrier keeping them apart.
I am reminded of the Rupert Holmes song “Terminal” where he wrote and sang about the people you never get to love because of that invisible “wall of fear.”
The rapid expansion of social media platforms like MySpace, Facebook, YouTube and the like have allowed those fearful of face-to-face encounters to have a safety net of cyberspace and even a less painful and public rejection. If someone declines your request to network or your cyber handshake, no one else knows that you were rejected.
The availability of this new form of cyber-friendship may not be seen as a “real” friendship by those viewing your “entourage” or photos of friends on MySpace or Facebook, however, that can be changed IF you are willing to get out there and “connect” with them face-to-face in the public arena.
Take a photo of you with your “friend” or post a video or video testimonial with your friend or with your friend talking about you and post that on MySpace or Facebook and you’ll see a marked
change in the perception of others regarding you and what you may have to offer as a potential friend or resource. It becomes a matter of “Oh My ____, they really are friends!”
The caveat you share is a wise one: you will indeed be known by those you associate with and you need to be mindful that quality does trump quantity.
Put in simple terms: Would you rather carry around 10,000 pennies in your pockets or purse or a single $100.00 bill? They may both carry the same collective value but one is much easier to handle and maintain.
The key to having a connection that matters is your willingness to nurture and grow that budding relationship so that it is mutually beneficial and rewarding for both of you.
Hi Alex, I think this is a great and indeed critical subject about how people connect, I am so aware of this in my world of how people connect on the phone as well as in networking sessions. The golden principle in my opinion is that the connection has to be about the other person’s world not the person who is trying to connect. I always say to my students start the conversation about them and their business not you and your product! As soon as they start to do this, their world really changes and they make awesome connections.
Hope all is well with you
my very best wishes
David Festestein
PS The smartstartgiving.com call with Penny Power but absolutely brilliant!
http://www.telesales.co.uk
I agree that there is power in connecting. But there is connecting and then there is MEANINGFUL CONNECTING. What I’ve found is that so much of the connecting going on today is not meaningful. The relationship-building is what makes the difference. Some people just want to get as many connections as they can collect, just to get their numbers up.
People do business with people they know, like, trust and remember. It’s important to stay in touch and build on those relationships, not just collect names. This speaks to the quality you mentioned in your post. That quality is built by asking the question, “How can I be of service to others?” rather than “What can others do for me?” When I give to get, I’m usually disappointed with what I receive. When I show up and serve, with no expectation in return (giving to give, not to get), the returns have come back tenfold in ways that I could not have even imagined.
You asked for a comment or if I just had something to say. I have been very interested in the various people and their products that David and you have introduced. I feel that I haven’t been able to get myself off the runway and because of the different things offered, which one would be best to start with. I’m intersted in the author and grow rich, but how do I know that the 4 plus thousand I give will really get the financial rewards I really need right now, as I’m sure does everyone else. I am very interested in creating the tele class business for my father who is a very well known artist and teacher. I feel that unless I put the money on the table, then there is no way to get assistance to decide what to do. I do need help.
Thanks, Alex, for sharing your voice of experience. I have a history of being someone who makes great efforts to form valuable networks. This post was a reminder to spend time on the quality connections, along with the quantity.
with gratitude,
Bonie
Alex,
What a fascinating perspective and great insight to combine quantity with quality for connecting. It is so true and something that I’ve found in my own personal relationships. Thank you for the time and energy to put this together.
Terry
Author of Book Proposals That Sell
Alex,
A wise reminder that QUALITY trumps QUANTITY any and every day.
I heard from a mutual friend the other day, we’ll call him “Rick” (because that’s his name), he’d attended Warren Buffet’s annual Berkshire gathering and the most profound advice WB offered was, “The most important difference between the well off person and the very, very wealthy person is the frequency and resolve with which he says, ‘No!.’”
The point: Simple, focus on quality, not quantity. It’s the same in your nutrition, the same in your fitness training… it’s what I talk about in my book, Strength for Life.
Priceless, ageless wisdom.
~ Shawn
I agree… when I’m at a professional Face-to Face meeting I’ve always tried to network but looked for ‘quality’ connections. However, when I’ve tried to do the same thing on social networking sites it generally has become more ‘quantity’ and less ‘quality’. I’m glad I’ve now found the Twitter solution to this connection problem.
With Twitter, I can post interesting comments and links that are followed by anyone interested in what I’m saying at twitter.com/webinarwisdom. However, I select just those ‘quality’ people that I wish to follow and I can then begin a meaningful conversation when appropriate.
This ‘power of connecting’ has really helped me grow my business as I found quality people to know and to know me. Once again, Alex has highlighted a factor critical to success.
Very cutting edge stuff. Social networking seems to be the buzz now. I like the odds once you get the ball rolling.
Hi Alex,
I totally believe the laws of natural attraction, that being said sometimes it’s takes effort to find the people that you can mutually benefit form working with.
My company has 2 divsions. We have a forex Trading partners group that can help people grow very rich, it’s quite exciting to see your money grow quickly with a top notch quality people to work with.
We also have a Natural Supplement’s company providing the finest quality products that can really make a differance in your life or someone you know.
Here’s the thing I’ve discovered about “quality” connections. Sometimes you have NO idea where you’re going to get them. In the music business, and now in the keynotes I’m doing — there’s always the appearance of “quality connection.” (Those are the ones all the people are trying to make.) And then there are those surprise connections that have led to something HUGE, mostly because I connected with someone at a conference or something.
I’ve had songs covered by major-label artists, been invited to do some great keynotes, and I’ve performed my whole life — and most of the time, the very best connections and open doors were not always the ones I could’ve planned ahead as “quality.”
Just a thought to add to the conversation here!
Alex,
Attending your TSS Reunion was the most powerfull lesson I have ever had on the power of connecting to those with whom a mutual benefit can come of it. I have used your insight on this topic in my personal and business life, and the results have been truly amazing, and I want to thank you for writing this blog because it has incresed my focus on the sub-connections.
Thanks again!
Patrick
Thank you for sharing your thought about networking, Alex.
You articulated my view about the quality of relationship rather than the quantity.
The workshop I attended yesterday made a point about being strategic in networking events. Key is to discover the pain point of the other person and see how I can contribute to solving it.
I also agree the best connection is where both parties benefit from the interaction. This is where I invest most of my time on.
Take care and God bless.
Alex - JoyPreneur
Growth Enabler
I agree. Imagine the potential of Reed’s Law combined with the truism of Six Degrees of Separation. Focused “intentional social connectivity” will yield far more valuable results than the typical shotgun approach of handing out and collecting business cards. Applying the 80/20 Rule to this formula can further refine, and yield, the most significant return on your “social investment.”
I met and became friends with Stan Lee, my all time hero this way. It’s also how I met Alex Mandossian and Robert Allen, two people I respect highly and plan on doing joint ventures with in the near future.
I tend to identify with what you say about quality vs. quantity. Add to that the perceived value of your contribution to the group and you start to see the occurrence of the type of connection that you experienced with the Clinton Foundation. Andrew Odlyzko is a mathematician who is the head of the University of Minnesota’s Digital Technology Center who speaks to this very thing when he says in his article Content is Not King “The Internet is widely regarded as primarily a content delivery system. Yet historically, connectivity has mattered much more than content. Even on the Internet, content is not as important as is often claimed, since it is e-mail that is still the true “killer app.”
The primacy of connectivity over content explains phenomena that have baffled wireless industry observers, such as the enthusiastic embrace of SMS (Short Message System) and the tepid reception of WAP (Wireless Application Protocol). Combined with statistics showing low cell phone usage, this also suggests that the 3G systems that are about to be introduced will serve primarily to stimulate more voice usage, not to provide Internet access.
For the wired Internet, the secondary role of content will likely mean that the dangers of balkanization are smaller than is often feared. Further, symmetrical links to the house are likely to be in greater demand than is usually realized. The huge sums being invested by carriers in content are misdirected.”
When we as business owners build and grow our business networks we tend to go off on flights of fancy adding links and content that we think will add to our value. In truth I think we need to focus with laser precision on our value to our community. When we do that we contribute. When we try to be much more to many more people we dilute our message, value and appeal. So yes be very particular about how you position your self in the networks that you connect into demonstrate a positive contribution and be perceived as a reliable and focused resource for your network.
This post is very timely for me. I was just talking to a friend about the exact same subject. It’s not always about what you know, but who knows you and knows what you do.
Thanks for a perfect post at the perfect time!!!
Bette Creek
Thanks for reminding me that it’s quality, not quantity that’s important as I set up my website, and launch it next month with an ASK campaign. Keep those timely tips coming Alex!
Alex…
Thanks for stimulating CONNECTION on the topic of connection for quality’s sake, not just having the largest number of contacts.
I’d like to focus for a moment on the human element of business and suspend the technology or method of connection for a moment. I LOVE and teach networking as a state of mind, a state of being. The goal is to create and sustain more meaningful conversations, whether online or offline (in person). That leads to more meaningful relationships.
For those who feel, as you said Alex, an inability to “connect” and wonder what to say and how to say it, I invite you to focus on the FEELING of connection, being other-focused, generous and genuinely curious and interested. Connect for the sake of human interaction, kindness, and being of service and opportunities will organically come to you.
Here’s to simply connecting with like-minded people for the greater good!
Hi Alex, it may be helpful to think of connections in levels and thereby harvest the maximum upside in your relationships:
Level 1 (lowest) = Connect: Parties exchange information for mutual benefit
Level 2 = Coordinate: Next they align to achieve a common purpose
Level 3 = Cooperate: Then they share resources
Level 4 = Collaborate: Then they enhance each other’s capacity.
I find that Level 1 “Connection” is “table stakes” for success. I also find that you do much more for your audience than Level 1.
All the best,
Becky
Hi Alex,
thanks for the info on Metcalf and Reed and for the many good points here.
In this time of information (and connection) overload we do have to be selective or we will burn ourselves out. And I agree that quality is far more important than quantity.
I have a somewhat different view though re your remark about only spending time (at a conference etc.) with the people who can “provide mutual benefit.” Sure, making it a priority to connect with the ones you KNOW you want to connect with for your own reasons is important.
But I believe it’s also important to be open to making connections that may not seem “beneficial” immediately. You’ll never know who the next (insert name of favorite big shot here) will be ;-)
Also, there are benefits that are more intangible than list size, big name, and other such quantifiables…
Sometimes people don’t know what they’re really looking for until they find it. And if they’re too single-minded in their search, they never will.
Okay, so I’m a big believer in serendipity, and I must say that quite a few key people and events in my life would have never appeared (or stayed) in it without some openness to, well, going with the flow.
Elisabeth
Thanks Alex. I enjoy reading these sometimes random thoughts from you.
This one is of particular interest as I am starting to build my new web site and associated list.
I’m attending a seminar next week and will think about this as I meet people. But I find it grates on me a bit that I might be trying to evaluate someones usefullness to me as I’m trying to meet them. Seems selfish and not very nice. Besides, how can you truely know someone on the first meeting?
As I read this post I began by glazing over at the thought of higher math describing a network(Metcalfe’s Law). Then looking at the history of its applications I became a bit more interested. The point regarding the quantity of connections was well taken by myself. Being a massage therapist and a swimming coach, its the quantity of connections that made sense. In closing though and thinking further regarding this article’s application to my own situation it really does come down to the quality of those connections. The 80/20 rule does apply in both my cases. 20% of my clients make up 80% of my business. In the swimming case, 20% of the kids on the swim team score 80% of the points in most meets. On a professional level in the small venue that I work in I could make a case for quality versus quantity when it comes to business networking events. Thanks for the insight and increasing my awareness when it comes to the people I know and who know me and the quality of those connections.
Hi Alex - great post!
I once heard Marshall Thurber discuss a concept that seems similar to Reed’s Law, which is the “Strength of the Weak Tie”.
Essentially, this theory suggests that it is the weak connections that you have THROUGH other people that can be most powerful, when the connection strengthens.
The reason for this is simply that the problems and challenges we each currently have are generally already supported and solved by our existing connections. But when we experience a new challenge, we may not have anyone in our network that can help us.
The example he gave was a couple going through marital problems who, through a “weak tie”, are connected by a neighbor to a marriage counselor who can then support them and help them through the challenge. They never had that need before and so the connection to the counselor remained “weak” until it was needed.
The point, I suppose, is to always pay attention to who you know you don’t know… and to use your strong ties to find solutions to problems through an unforeseen and previously weak connection.
- Paul
Alex, I couldn’t agree more with you. It amazes me how people are in a frenzy adding ‘friends’ to the 2.0 network sites, but they only focus on quantity and not an QUALITY. Great post. AL.
Alex: I know it takes longer to write shorter (Mark Samuel Clemens Twain)so maybe you elected not to include what I call principle-centered networking, e.g. “If you help someone get what they want they will bend over backwards to help you…much like an involuntary response.”
Next…let’s not sift through new contacts too quickly…as per “I encourage you to intentionally seek out only those who can provide mutual benefits.” Huh? As a 19 year professional career trainer I would not make that statement. You run the high risk of being inept in figuring out who is “quality” and who is not. So-called “lower quality” new contacts often have name-brand quality contact. Why? The lower quality contact may not care a whit or see any value in connecting, but through no fault of that person they know some really cool people and just might offer a connection to you.
I am a lower quality contact and I have some high quality connectors who just might be helpful to me, my family, and my clients just as the need presents itself. Too harsh? I hope not because I am one of your legion of fans who gives you credit every chance I get even though I am not an affiliate of yours. I am an affiliate of Rick Raddatz to whom you referred me. Now let’s get Seth Godin’s opinion about your blog comment.
Alex,
Spot on! The quality of the network is key. I’m in eWomen Network, and one of their networking scripts is to have members name something they’re looking for and something they’re going to buy in the next 30-60 days. Which gives a great quality connection from the very beginning!
Thanks much for the reminder.
Regards,
Cheryl
I’m glad you mentioned the quality of the connections - possibly more important than the quantity.
It seems that the further removed the connection is, the more suspect the quality becomes. Quality can relate to relevance.
What I’ve experienced is that having a lot of connections (quantity) with little relevance (quality) is fairly insignificant and usually results in little growth.
Is there a way to guarantee the quality or relevance of a connection? Seems like you loose a lot of control over this as time and connection distance goes on.
Absolutely right on the money! Before setting foot on “new soil” one must feel relatively “grounded/centered” in order to explore and discover unchartered grounds. Having trust, competency and commitment are the essentials as one moves forward into a successful relationship. Must believe the message, messenger and how it can benefit you. Knowing what you want, contextualizing content and following a proven time tested result oriented system… is the ‘blueprint’. Thank you for your ongoing advice and information. Yes…agreed it is about marketing your unique value and how it can serve others.
The blog post article, “The Power of Connecting,” by Alex Mandossian, is brilliant and shows Alex’s genius in applying timeless principles to practical applications. The Power of Connecting is another powerful application of the process of brain-based accelerated learning principles. What Alex describes is an expression in practical life of how our brain makes connections also–the more connections our brain neurons make, the more our brain grows and develops and the faster it learns. Since the brain is continually making connections, it is also the “quality” of the stimulus we feed our brain that is important. Thus, as Alex says, we want to select which “stimulus” to our brain will form the connections that serve us best–supporting what are our goals and purposes in life. This is the very principle by which I base my accelerated learning for kids through Superlinks learning styles programs–to train students to not only make more connections to the brain, but select the connections that are going to help them, for example, learn better and faster. That is the basis for what I have been doing in helping people find which learning style and brain style or Superlinks is their preferred one, so they can channel their learning through those brain connections which will in turn make learning easier and faster, and serve them the best. So, again, Alex Mandossian has found an application for principles of great thought leaders to apply not only to our personal lives and “who” or how many people with whom we connect, but for use in our teleseminar business or organizational development in making sure we use our time wisely in making “quality” connections that will bring the most meaning and value to whatever endeavors in which we are engaged. Thank you, Alex, for your brilliant insights!
Great post, Alex. It’s very true that the quality of the contact you have with others is related to the value you provide to them. For example, your value as a Clinton fundraiser is good if you are writing the check yourself, but your value is IMMENSELY higher if you use your marketing skills and network contacts to raise BIG money from hundreds or thousands of donors.
At networking functions, too many people lose sight of the big picture. They try to “work the room” and hand out as many business cards as possible to as many people as possible rather than focusing on the few key centers of influence in the room and building a quality relationship with them.
Those key centers of influence generally do not have patience for a superficial conversation and a business card, but if you can demonstrate your value to them in some high-quality way, they’ll be much more inclined to want to help you out.
Give, THEN get.
Alex, you’ve been a fantastic model of giving first, then getting. Keep up the great work!
Dan Braun
http://DoubleYourIncomeIn7Months.com
Hi Alex,
I couldn’t agree with you more! What comes to me immediately is that in my niche market of network marketing, we always teach people to approach their “chicken list” first.
The chicken list consists of the people you look up to, respect, and may even fear approaching at first. The people on your chicken list are the most successful and thus the most well connected with other successful people.
We teach that your network is your net worth. The truth is, there is really nothing to fear in approaching these most successful people because 99.9% of the time they will be friendly and helpful and admire you for your desire to increase your own success. Most of the time, they did not become successful by being closed and hard-nosed.
So always start with your chicken list…you’ll soon see you have nothing at all to fear!
To Your Success!
Tracy ‘Power Gal’ Monteforte
http://www.wtpowers.com
P.S. If you have 2 min and 40 seconds hop over
to my blog and view the video on commitment.
http://www.thepowerlineblog.com
Would love your comment as well!
We all need to pay attention to “Network Science” and to learn how to apply it in the 21rst Century.
Thanks Alex for bringing this up. You are in the Transformational Leadership council with my boy Marshall Thurber so I know you will support this.
If you want to learn more about N.S.and Positive Deviancy (sounds naughty eh?) I highly recommend Marshall Thurber’s ..”Success Secrets of the 21 Century.” One of the best seminars and long lasting influences in my life. It made me rethink how I approach everything.
Some background info can be found at http://www.positivedeviantnetwork.com/ss21_website/
Alex keep up the wonderful work you do too. I look forward to meeting you sometime in the future.
I went from being coy to having been called a “Master Networker”, who knows how to “work a room”.
But the key I’ve learned is numbers. The more contacts I have, that increases my connection ratio. Say If I make 20 contacts, out of that I make 2-5 connections, then maybe one out of that makes something happen. Some people that I know complain that networking does nothing for them. But it is a multi-functional tool they really do not know how to use. My specialty is connecting people in deals where I fit right in.
I agree. We now live in a world where we are able to connect with more people than we ever imagined possible.
This makes it extremely crucial for us to make connections with like minded people who are seeking beneficial relationships.
Whether it’s business to consumer or joint venture relationships, I always try to think win-win.
This is a great article. It really gives us something to think about.
Dear Alex,
Thanks for posting this, it was an inspiring article.. and it’s funny as I talked about “connecting” lately with some of my partners, in a similar way.
Anyway, you’ve said..
“I encourage you to intentionally seek out only those who can provide mutual benefits”
So you recommend we should only be friends with folks who can give us some benefits?
It seems not right to me, that’s just my opinion. Maybe I am wrong, or did not correctly understand your idea.
Cheers,
Codrut Turcanu - “Succeeding Against All Odds!”
YOUR INFORMATION WAS VERY INFORMATIVE. IT EXPLAIN
TO ME HOW TO MARKET MY SERVICE AND PRODUCTS
TO THE RIGHT NICHE MARKETER
Alex,
Your post is right on.
The following is how and everyday person can develop relationships with movers and shakers who have a much larger list of influential connections that can catapult you to your dreams.
I was in Amway as a full time distributor for a decade. After a year and a half working in my network marketing business at night while I held a fulltime job, I was able to to go from an employee to self employed since 1990. I did that one connection at a time with everyday people as I built my business living in a mobile home that I bought for $16,000 (that included the land).
One of my everyday acquaintances sponsored a gentleman in Orlando, FL that was a cousin of George Stephanopoulos, Sr. Stategic Advisor to Bill Clinton. Next thing you know, we are in the hallway outside of the Oval Office walking into George Stephanopoulos’s tiny office. My recollection says it was literally one door down from the Oval Office door. Anyway, my point is be good to the everyday people around you and everyone is 6 network relationships away from anyone else, so bloom where you are planted and your path can lead to magical things, while you might currently feel your in the dark.
My encouragement is to keep believing even when you are just a speck in a sea of wannabes.
Expect you are going to get great results and you probably will. One millionaire told me that you are only going to get what you expect in life, not what you want. He said he got that from Denis Waitley.
The next thing you know, I’m giving seminars to hundreds of people in auditoriums with a cordless mic and no notes for 4 hours at a time; in fact, I was the featured speaker. Backstage I’m meeting guys like Zig Ziglar, Mary Lou Retton and I even picked up Tom Landry, Dallas Cowboys’ football coach and hosted him for a weekend while he was a guest speaker for our convention.
In networking, we were taught that it was a whole lot easier to sponsor a well connected leader, than to build a leader. A leader is ready to be effective in short order, but it can take years to build a leader. Both relationships take the same amount of time, so why not build some relationships with leaders that already have a large sphere of influence.
Alex, I met you a couple of years ago in the hallway of the Big Seminar in Atlanta. I was touched by how kind and humble you were in our conversation even though you have one of the biggest virtual Rolodexes in the industry. Typically someone of your status gives off an air of superficiality, but you really connected with me.
We should all stretch ourselves in business and reach out to those at our ability level and above and great things can manifest themselves.
Henry David Thoreau:
“If one advances confidently in the direction of their dreams, and endeavours to lead a life which they have imagined, they will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.”
On Your Side, Glen Woodfin
http://www.REDHOTspeakers.com
Very true. I recently wrote an article on networking and disscussed the quality of connections. I mentioned that as a person builds a personal network, a criteria should be established at the outset. I also pointed out that connections do not have to be people who refer business, and as an example mentioned 15 people in my personal network I use as an online focus group. They are va